Building a new home can be one of the most exciting and fun adventures your family ever undertakes. You’ll have a wide variety of plans from which to choose and you’ll have the ability to select a design that perfectly fits your needs, your lifestyle, and your own sense of style. And if an existing plan doesn’t have exactly what you’re looking, you can generally supplement it with options to make sure it fits like a glove.

Sometimes, however, couples aren’t on the same page when it comes to the design of their new home. That makes it hard to agree on which plan to choose and that can put a bit of stress on your relationship. That can put a bit of stress on your relationship. So how can you build a new home in New Jersey without damaging your marriage in the process?

Often, differences of opinion when it comes to building a home arise from unexpressed expectations. It can be helpful to identify your priorities for your home before you even start looking at floor plans. Here’s how it can work. 

Communicate Early On

Independently from one another, you and your spouse should jot down all the things that you’d love to see in your new home. These can be very practical things or features that you simply think would be great. Don’t worry about writing things in order. Use your imagination.

Then go back through your list and assign values to the items you wrote down. Items with a ranking of 1 would be “must-haves” or essential elements. Things you rank with a 2 could be classified as “nice-to-have.” Features that come in with a ranking of 3 might be considered “if-we-can-afford-it” items. You may even want to add comments about what makes something essential in your mind.

When you’ve done that, get back together and compare your lists. As you talk through your lists, you can create one master list of essentials and “nice-to-have” features. This is where additional comments about why something is essential can really help. For instance, one of you might consider a formal dining room a “must-have” because you often have large sit-down dinners with extended family.

A combined list like that helps you communicate things that are really important to you—things that you may not have discussed before. On top of that, it will make it much easier for you to review potential floor plans because plans that don’t include enough of your essential items will automatically be excluded. 

If you have children, you can include them in the process as appropriate. It helps them feel part of the process. Even if they don’t get everything they want, at least they’ve had the chance to offer an opinion.

It’s important to get expectations out in the open on something as significant as the home you plan to live in for years to come. Identifying your expectations and what’s important to you can help you build a home the whole family will love.